Just the Beginning
April 4, 2020 at 4:00 AM
by Nedgie Paul
Malacca graduates

I avoided all things graduation related until exactly 1 month before I was supposed to graduate. I spent the previous 4 months trying to figure out good and logical reasons to post-pone my graduation and stay in undergrad for an extra semester. I didn't start applying for jobs until 2 weeks before I graduated. I had nothing together and no idea what I was doing. Despite all of this and all the other things that were going on in my life, somehow it came together pretty well. And I still don't fully understand it.

Graduation was an interesting mix of feelings and emotions for me. I was excited and happy and Scared. I was scared. A Tidal wave of emotions that continuously crashed into me as the date approached. Nothing hit me until the day after the graduation ceremony. I was a crying sobbing mess. Why? On one hand, I was happy and proud and so grateful for all that I had experienced at Florida State University. But as I reflected on the memories, lessons, blessings, the good times, and the bad; I realized college was over. This was the last time that I was going to be able to experience certain things in this way. This chapter of my life was over. My friends and I were all going to different places and living different lives. I was a crying, sobbing mess. Again. 

Then I was happy. After all the hard work, all of the obstacles, all of the long hours and late nights. I was finally done. A Graduate! An Alumna! 

Then the emotions surfaced again. I had no idea what. was doing, how I was going to do it or what I planned on doing. I was overwhelmed by the thought of making real adult decisions. I didn't even know how to file my taxes (still don't really know). But I knew it was going to work out. 

The only thing that really kept me going was the faith that I had in the unknown outcomes. There was no doubt in my mind. It was going to work out. It had to. And by the grace of God, it did. College is merely a foundational - and pivotal in my opinion- step towards the next stage of your life. It is only just the beginning. 

I guess I'm writing this to say that even if it seems like you don't have things all figured out, it's ok. God has a bigger plan. And it may not work out now, but it will. My only advice is to pray (Honestly). And put in the work needed to reach the goals you aspire to achieve. It may not work out how you want it to but keep an open mind. You never know where you'll end up. 

No, I don't have all the answers, but I will figure it out. No, I cannot avoid life's challenges, but I will overcome them. No, I don't know how to file my taxes, but my dad can show me.