Good advice feels like a breath of fresh air when life starts to get confusing. And sometimes it is difficult to even take advice because we like to think we have all the answers and we can figure things out on our own. But sometimes its necessary and could possibly be life changing.
A couple years ago, I received some advice that genuinely made me look at my life differently.
“Stop doing things that you don’t want to do”
That’s it. That was the advice. And as simple as it sounds, it changed everything for me. And I try to live by it as much as possible now. And I know someone’s probably thinking “what’s the big deal? That’s common sense.” but is it?
How many times have you found yourself in situations where you're doing favors and putting yourself in situations that you really don’t want to be in? It happens to most of us. And most of the time we don’t even realize it. And gradually we start building resentment towards people and start feeling used. So when I was told this, I also thought it was common knowledge, but I had to really think about it and it started to make more sense.
If you stop doing things you don’t want to do, you leave more room for things that you do want to do. Take note of your life now and really think about all the things that you’re doing that you don’t actually want to do. Notice it has a tendency to make you unhappy. And this can be in regard to anything such as relationships, school, work, life choices, friendships, etc.
Thus, do what you want and more specifically do what makes you happy. In the end you will be happy regardless and you won’t have many regrets because you did what you wanted to do and what your heart desired. Other people might be upset and that is not your problem. Doing what you want also makes it easier to hold yourself accountable. The decisions you make are fully yours and you can’t blame anyone else.
By doing what you want, you give yourself more opportunities to fully live the life that you want. And that’s really all that matters. And this is not to say that you should be reckless, ignorant, or intentionally mean to others. But take everything into consideration and make decisions based off what would be best for you in the long run. Do what makes you happy, Do things that interest you, do things that spark your curiosity, do things that make you laugh and smile, do things that make you feel warm inside and stop worrying so much about the opinions of others. And I know Its easier said than done.
But when you do what you want, you are not as controlled by the opinions of others. Because if you think about it, by focusing on yourself and what you want, you have very little time to focus on anyone else’s opinion of you. I believe the kids call it “living your best life” or “minding the business that pays you”.
Another great benefit of doing what you want is that you will ultimately have less resentment towards others. If you’re always the one that everyone calls to fix their problems and it makes you feel like you’re being taken for granted, then stop. Don’t do it. Only do favors and things for others when know that you are doing it openly and with love. I promise everyone does not always need you. You’re just always available.
The right relationships will get better because the things you do will come from your heart and you’ll be happy to do them. And you’ll realize that some relationships were very one-sided and not meant for you and that’s okay. Ultimately, you need to allow yourself to freely be who you want to be and one way to do that is to do what you want and do what really makes you happy. Always. Accept yourself for everything that you are and live your life the way you want to.